{"id":4449,"date":"2025-12-15T15:46:41","date_gmt":"2025-12-15T15:46:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/?p=4449"},"modified":"2025-12-15T15:46:42","modified_gmt":"2025-12-15T15:46:42","slug":"dlouho-jsem-sedela-pred-obrazovkou-a-znovu-a-znovu-cetla-jeji-slova-mela-jsem-pocit-ze-se-mi-vypaluji-do-kuze","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/?p=4449","title":{"rendered":"Dlouho jsem sed\u011bla p\u0159ed obrazovkou a znovu a znovu \u010detla jej\u00ed slova. M\u011bla jsem pocit, \u017ee se mi vypaluj\u00ed do k\u016f\u017ee."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Nebyla to jen bolest \u2014 byl to stud. Stud za vlastn\u00ed t\u011blo, za v\u011bk, za to, \u017ee jsem si dovolila b\u00fdt \u0161\u0165astn\u00e1 ve\u0159ejn\u011b. A to nejhor\u0161\u00ed: tenhle stud mi nezp\u016fsobil ciz\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bk z internetu, ale moje vlastn\u00ed dcera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ten ve\u010der jsem j\u00ed neodpov\u011bd\u011bla. Odlo\u017eila jsem telefon a ode\u0161la do koupelny. Postavila jsem se p\u0159ed zrcadlo a poprv\u00e9 po mnoha letech jsem se na sebe nepod\u00edvala o\u010dima man\u017eela ani p\u0159\u00e1tel, ale o\u010dima sv\u00e9 dcery. Vid\u011bla jsem \u201etlust\u00e9 boky\u201c, \u201est\u00e1rnouc\u00ed k\u016f\u017ei\u201c, \u201enevhodnou \u017eenu\u201c. A cht\u011blo se mi bre\u010det.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Man\u017eel m\u011b na\u0161el sed\u011bt na okraji vany. Chv\u00edli mi trvalo, ne\u017e jsem dok\u00e1zala \u0159\u00edct, co se stalo. Kdy\u017e jsem mu uk\u00e1zala ten koment\u00e1\u0159, zbledl. \u010cekala jsem, \u017ee \u0159ekne n\u011bco jako \u201enev\u0161\u00edmej si toho\u201c nebo \u201eona to tak nemyslela\u201c. M\u00edsto toho m\u011b objal a ti\u0161e \u0159ekl: \u201eBol\u00ed m\u011b to \u010d\u00edst. Proto\u017ee j\u00e1 vid\u00edm \u017eenu, kterou miluji. A ona ne.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A v tu chv\u00edli se ve mn\u011b n\u011bco zlomilo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Druh\u00fd den jsem se nerozhodla pro h\u00e1dku ani pro v\u00fd\u010ditky. Rozhodla jsem se d\u00e1t lekci. Ne z pomsty, ale z bolesti a l\u00e1sky z\u00e1rove\u0148.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"898\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/snapedit_1765813582014-898x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4450\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/snapedit_1765813582014-898x1024.jpeg 898w, https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/snapedit_1765813582014-263x300.jpeg 263w, https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/snapedit_1765813582014-768x875.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/snapedit_1765813582014.jpeg 1286w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 898px) 100vw, 898px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Fotografii jsem nesmazala. Naopak \u2014 napsala jsem k n\u00ed dlouh\u00fd a up\u0159\u00edmn\u00fd text. O tom, kolik let tohle t\u011blo nosilo d\u00edt\u011b pod srdcem. Kolik probd\u011bl\u00fdch noc\u00ed za\u017eilo. Kolikr\u00e1t vstalo s hore\u010dkou, \u0161lo do pr\u00e1ce, va\u0159ilo ve\u010de\u0159e, ut\u00edralo slzy. Napsala jsem, \u017ee tohle t\u011blo bylo milovan\u00e9, l\u00edban\u00e9, obj\u00edman\u00e9. \u017de si zaslou\u017e\u00ed \u00factu, ne posm\u011bch. A \u017ee v\u011bk nen\u00ed hanba, ale privilegium, kter\u00e9 nen\u00ed dop\u0159\u00e1no ka\u017ed\u00e9mu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dceru jsem nejmenovala. Ale ka\u017ed\u00fd, kdo n\u00e1s znal, pochopil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Reakce byla ohromuj\u00edc\u00ed. Psaly mi \u017eeny v m\u00e9m v\u011bku i mlad\u0161\u00ed. D\u011bkovaly za odvahu, p\u0159izn\u00e1valy, \u017ee se boj\u00ed zve\u0159ej\u0148ovat fotografie, boj\u00ed se st\u00e1rnut\u00ed, boj\u00ed se odsouzen\u00ed \u2014 dokonce i od vlastn\u00edch d\u011bt\u00ed. Psali mi mu\u017ei, kte\u0159\u00ed tvrdili, \u017ee jejich man\u017eelky jsou kr\u00e1sn\u00e9 v ka\u017ed\u00e9m v\u011bku. Ten proud podpory byl jako nadechnut\u00ed po dlouh\u00e9m ponoru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ve\u010der mi dcera zavolala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Plakala. \u0158\u00edkala, \u017ee mi necht\u011bla ubl\u00ed\u017eit, \u017ee \u201ejen m\u011bla strach\u201c, \u017ee \u201ese to dneska nenos\u00ed\u201c. Poslouchala jsem ji a najednou mi do\u0161lo, \u017ee se boj\u00ed. St\u00e1rnut\u00ed. Posm\u011bchu. Toho, \u017ee jednou bude \u201enevhodn\u00e1\u201c stejn\u011b jako j\u00e1. A ten strach obr\u00e1tila proti mn\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0158ekla jsem j\u00ed klidn\u011b: \u201eNemus\u00ed\u0161 mi rozum\u011bt. Ale nem\u00e1\u0161 pr\u00e1vo poni\u017eovat. Zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 vlastn\u00ed matku. Zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 \u017eenu.\u201c Byl to nejt\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00ed rozhovor m\u00e9ho \u017eivota. Ale nutn\u00fd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uplynulo n\u011bkolik t\u00fddn\u016f. Na\u0161e vztahy se je\u0161t\u011b \u00fapln\u011b nezahojily. Ale j\u00e1 u\u017e se neschov\u00e1v\u00e1m. Neschov\u00e1v\u00e1m ruce, b\u0159icho ani sv\u016fj v\u011bk. U\u010d\u00edm se znovu p\u0159ij\u00edmat a milovat sama sebe \u2014 ne proto, \u017ee mus\u00edm, ale proto, \u017ee chci.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>N\u011bkdy ty nejbolestiv\u011bj\u0161\u00ed r\u00e1ny p\u0159ich\u00e1zej\u00ed od t\u011bch nejbli\u017e\u0161\u00edch. Ale pr\u00e1v\u011b ony n\u00e1m p\u0159ipomenou, k\u00fdm skute\u010dn\u011b jsme. Jsem \u017eena. Jsem man\u017eelka. Jsem matka. A m\u00e1m pr\u00e1vo b\u00fdt sama sebou. I v plavk\u00e1ch. I v \u0161edes\u00e1ti letech.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Nebyla to jen bolest \u2014 byl to stud. Stud za vlastn\u00ed t\u011blo, za v\u011bk, za to, \u017ee jsem si dovolila b\u00fdt \u0161\u0165astn\u00e1 ve\u0159ejn\u011b. \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/?p=4449\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4450,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,1,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-footto","category-uncategorised","category-video"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dlouho jsem sed\u011bla p\u0159ed obrazovkou a znovu a znovu \u010detla jej\u00ed slova. M\u011bla jsem pocit, \u017ee se mi vypaluj\u00ed do k\u016f\u017ee. -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/?p=4449\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ru_RU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dlouho jsem sed\u011bla p\u0159ed obrazovkou a znovu a znovu \u010detla jej\u00ed slova. M\u011bla jsem pocit, \u017ee se mi vypaluj\u00ed do k\u016f\u017ee. -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nebyla to jen bolest \u2014 byl to stud. Stud za vlastn\u00ed t\u011blo, za v\u011bk, za to, \u017ee jsem si dovolila b\u00fdt \u0161\u0165astn\u00e1 ve\u0159ejn\u011b.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/?p=4449\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-12-15T15:46:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-12-15T15:46:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/chch.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/snapedit_1765813582014.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1286\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1466\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u041d\u0430\u043f\u0438\u0441\u0430\u043d\u043e \u0430\u0432\u0442\u043e\u0440\u043e\u043c\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"\u041f\u0440\u0438\u043c\u0435\u0440\u043d\u043e\u0435 \u0432\u0440\u0435\u043c\u044f \u0434\u043b\u044f \u0447\u0442\u0435\u043d\u0438\u044f\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 \u043c\u0438\u043d\u0443\u0442\u044b\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/chch.arminfonews.ru\\\/?p=4449#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/chch.arminfonews.ru\\\/?p=4449\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/chch.arminfonews.ru\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/66e5e612cc0d211a073d4fd905e953a5\"},\"headline\":\"Dlouho jsem sed\u011bla p\u0159ed obrazovkou a znovu a znovu \u010detla jej\u00ed slova. 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